How to Have Unshakeable Self-Worth
Does your self-worth come and go based on your circumstances?
For example your kids fight with you all morning. Your spouse tells you he can’t make it to your best friend’s birthday party, even though you accepted the invitation months ago. Your boss asks you to do the project over, better. Suddenly you feel like no one cares about you at all.
Any given day can be good or bad based on what happens and how we feel about it. If we’re having a good day we naturally feel good about ourselves; if not, well, you know where your mind goes–straight into the gutter of self-doubt and unworthiness.
But is it possible to have unshakeable self-worth no matter what happens in our day?
Because worthiness is a self-made feeling. It isn’t dependant on other people or events in our lives. In fact, no one can really make us feel any more worthy than we already do. When we long to feel more valued, it’s a sign that we must take action, that we must become valuable!
If we want to feel valued we have to create value for others. It isn’t about earning our worth, so much as it’s about being worthy. We don’t earn our value, we become valuable by giving something of value from within ourselves, something like love, compassion, caring, or respect. These are things we can give to others through our work or through our everyday actions.
Even though we really feel like our value is something we need to get, it’s not. It’s the biggest misconception we humans live with every day. Our worth is non-negotiable. And everything we long to feel (like greater self-worth) is a desire for that to be expressed from within us.
If you want to feel love, you need to express love.
If you want to feel respected, you need to respect yourself first.
If you want to feel valued, you must create value with what you have to offer.
Now, I don’t want you to get confused here. It isn’t about giving so you can get a show of appreciation in return because then your worth would once again be attached to someone else. You would be jumping through hoops to earn approval and that’s not necessary, and not sustainable. When we share our gifts freely, we create our self-worth via feeling capable, generous, and caring.
You can feel valued when you are being a person of value. You can give it to yourself.
We just can’t sit back and wait for others to show us our worthiness. We must learn to feel it as a result of what we contribute. And being able to contribute begins with an abundance mindset, with knowing you are enough and have plenty to give. You have nothing to prove. You can choose this kind of thinking no matter what your circumstances look like right now.
So the next time you have a disagreement, make a mistake, or get corrected, stop yourself from attaching who you are and your value to a thing that happened. Instead, offset that crummy feeling by bringing to mind what you do have to offer in a world that needs so much right now. Turn your attention away from the one whom you want to blame for not valuing you enough and go out and create value for others.
Focus your energies on growing and building your gifts. Put yourself and your interests first for a change. Allow the energy of personal growth to fuel your fires.
Your unshakeable self-worth is already within you waiting to come out. It requires bravery, commitment, and action. It requires right-thinking. You can access your worthiness at any moment by becoming a person of value through your thoughts, and deeds. In this way, no circumstance or event can ever really shake your feelings of self-worth. You’re worth what you’re willing to give and your giving is amplified when you take action generously in service to others.
What one activity in your life has a way of making you feel good about yourself? Any idea why?
Thanks for reading friends.