dealing with uncertainty, fear, unknown

How to Deal with Uncertainty

I don’t know. You don’t know. None of us knows what’ll happen tomorrow. We’ve never known and that’s a hard fact to take. I understand because I come from a long line of control freaks and letting go of tomorrow was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to learn. Still working on it daily.

What I do know is that certainty is an illusion. You try to make plans, stack the cards in your favor, but realize there are so many other cards out there! What we get in the future is rarely if ever what we expect. And things happen beyond our control more often than we’d like.

So learning to deal with uncertainty is all we can do. Yet most of us fear uncertainty because it certifies our vulnerability, our lack of power over what might happen. We’d like to think we have control over occurrences, but we don’t. The best we can do…on our best days, is try to control our reactions, and even that challenge can expose our vulnerable side.

Yes, my friends, we are human. We are vulnerable. The sooner we accept this truth with all of our beings, the quicker we can get down to learning how to cope with uncertainty.

Vulnerability teaches us that we need each other, that our connectedness is real and necessary. And our survival depends on it. So why do we try with all our might to avoid feeling vulnerable?

sisters-1328070_1920Uncertainty and vulnerability require us to become responsible human beings. And this is where so many of us get stuck and start backpedaling. Our human lifestyle choices have caused us to lose much of our species’ awareness, nature’s handbook for how we should care for and protect each other.

We’ve become a little narcissistic and lazy in our relationships and responsibilities to the others in our herd. It’s a little too much all for one and not enough one for all.

We don’t think it matters how we treat one person because there are always more of them. Yep. Plenty of homo sapiens to go around. We’re so numerous, we’re expendable.

If we really want to deal with uncertainty we need to start thinking about how to build more human connections right now rather than building for our solitary futures. You’re weakest when you’re alone. You’re strongest when you have people on your side. These things we kind of know, but we don’t think about them when we’re feeling scared and uncertain. We’d rather think we can go it alone.

But coping with uncertainty begins with reaching out, affirming that you’re not alone. No one’s going to give you a medal for toughing it out. Believe me, I’ve got none hanging on my wall. When you know you are vulnerable, you’ll see that so is everyone else. Most people are pretty good at hiding this, but it’s true.

We’re all vulnerable and we all need each other. You cope with uncertainty by cultivating real flesh and blood connections instead of clinging to the invisible allure of certainty. We can face anything when we know there are people we can turn to for help when we need it.

We can’t help but live in fear when we think we have no one.

So reach out for connection. Talk to one other person about what it feels like to be afraid of tomorrow.

And be that person for another. Give others permission to be afraid. Offer love and the support only you can give.

We can get through almost anything when we know we have others on our side. If you need someone to talk to and you’re coming up empty-handed, send me a message and we’ll get on a call. I’m here for you.
Image by Kevin Ramirez from Pixabay

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.