Can You Really Reinvent Yourself?
When we’re unhappy, it’s natural to want something to change. We seek comfort in thinking if only my life were different; if only I were different! Before I got married, I changed everything about myself to become what I thought my husband wanted. I needed to catch him and make him choose me. In the end, it turned out he didn’t want ME. At least not the “me” I’d created for him. Not only that, I hated the person I’d become while trying to please him. I began to mourn the self I’d left behind. So the answer to the question of whether we can really reinvent ourselves is Yes, indeed we can.
What we can change is our identity. Who we think we are and how we act are completely malleable like Play-doh. We adjust and re-shape our looks, our behaviors, our friend groups, our jobs/careers, and our relationships. We do it all the time out of necessity when we have to. We experience break-ups that force us to adopt new ways of being. We get fired from a job and have to re-imagine who we are as an employee, as a person of value. We face injury, loss, and grief that make us question who we are and the choices we’ve made.
Reinventing the self is nothing more than deciding to think and act differently.
After that painful marriage and subsequent breakup, I wanted answers about what happened to me, why I so easily abandoned who I was for another and why it didn’t work. I’ve spent the last 18 years studying personal development and transformation. It’s a huge passion of mine. That’s the good that came out of it, I learned a better way to “change.”
So yes, we can reinvent ourselves, but we should take great care in who we’re trying to become, and why.
Changing our identity can just as easily turn out to be a negative experience as a positive one. When we’re motivated by external forces to change, it doesn’t always produce the best results and often this kind of change is not sustainable anyway. So rather than focus on “reinventing yourself,” consider the option of evolving yourself.
Evolving is different than reinvention because your motivation is different. Like, do you want to change because you want to get something? Or someone? Do you want to change because you don’t feel “good enough” as is?
Or do you want to change because your Spirit is calling you to be more of your authentic self?
One of these leads to a sustainable, satisfying life and the other leads to repeating patterns of loss, frustration, and confusion. According to Rebecca Webber writing in Psychology Today, “Researchers from the University of Rochester found that people who are intrinsically motivated—working toward things they find personally fulfilling—are less depressed and more satisfied with their lives than those who are extrinsically motivated, striving primarily to impress the outside world with a big paycheck or lofty job title. Intrinsically motivated people are also more likely to achieve personal goals, according to a series of studies led by Ken Sheldon, a psychology professor at the University of Missouri. He found that people who had self-concordant goals were the most likely to make steady progress because they were more likely than others to devote sustained effort despite the obstacles and distractions.”
Evolution is already happening within you whether you know it or not. You can ignore this natural cycle of growth or you can work with your Soul’s desire to seek authentic expression. When you turn your attention to your soul’s evolution you break the cycle of continually needing to reinvent yourself out of necessity or challenging painful experiences. When you give in to the evolution of your soul you allow your divine source to become a stronger, more prominent participant in the decision-making of your life.
Reinventing the self requires you to imagine yourself in a new light, as a new person, and then take repeated actions to support the identity you want to create. All personal development programs are designed to teach us this process. And there are a lot of good ones out there and anyone committed to change can find success with them.
For me, reinvention was only really possible when I chose to set my soul free, to make it the guiding voice in decision making rather than only fear. Whenever I was struggling, examining all the logic and trying to weigh out options, I knew I was stuck trying to manage my identity and what I really needed to do was go within, get quiet and listen, to the voice of my Spirit that always sees me as my greatest self, that always knows what I’m really capable of, and always wants the best for me.
This isn’t something many of us were taught growing up. We have to learn it. we have to engage in soul (and self) discovery. We need to take time regularly to listen to Spirit and then learn to trust it over the mind’s endless chatter about what’s logical or makes sense.
Personal growth is much easier and more sustainable when it’s motivated from within. More importantly than seeing into your future you might try to see into your soul for an image of who you already are because the chances of being successful moving into that is a lot higher than trying to become something you “think” you need to be for your life to feel successful.
The Universe already supports your soul’s growth. That’s why you were able to grow in your mother’s womb and be born into this world. If you believe that process is still taking place then how might you tap into the flow of that support? How could you more fully engage the creative process of making your life?
What if you didn’t need to be someone different, but more of the amazing self you don’t even yet know you can be?
Download FREE this 30-day Journal for Starting Over. It’s designed to help you get in touch with your internal guidance system so you can begin making decisions about your future that lead you to greater fulfillment and happiness.
What we need in this world are more Souls on fire.
In Life and Love, Tracy