How can we know the difference between judgment and discernment? How can we make sense of negative reactions we have to people we meet as well as people we hold dear?

That’s Not Me!…or is it?

Have you ever looked at someone else and thought to yourself, “that’s not me?”

Thumbing through my Facebook feed, I see a woman whose posting habits have begun to annoy me lately. Do I want to see one more picture of her face, in a new location but with the same expression as last time, same angle, same hair, and same smile telling me that I if I buy her program, I can have the same kind of life she has? Something inside of me snarks, “I’m not that.”

When we face the hard to love in the world we teach ourselves to love unconditionallyWhen I see others doing their thing (especially when it’s similar to mine) whether in person or on social media and I disassociate, I’m not sure if it’s good or bad. But when I do, I know that something strange is going on inside of me. It’s the same feeling I get when I see a woman begging on the street corner or a mother yanking her kid’s arm to get him to follow.

In the exact moment, it feels like I’m just being discerning, trying to figure out exactly who I am and who I want to grow into.

Other times I see that it’s a judgment, a way of comparing myself with what someone else is doing or being…an air of disapproval follows.

Sometimes, it’s a level of fear I simply can’t explain.

I’ve been reading Deepak Chopra’s “The Path to Love” for a second time and he says that when we make a snap judgment about a person we don’t even know, (even people we do know) that we’re projecting our feelings and thoughts onto them. And that we need to “bring home [the] feelings that need reclaiming instead of displacing them onto others.” He goes on to say that “what you hate most in others you most strongly deny in yourself. This is a spiritual truth that we try to evade by projecting, blaming and making excuses for ourselves.”

Over time I’ve come to realize that what Chopra says is true. We see our shadow self in others and we want to reject it. And it’s so much easier to reject it in another. Yet when I dare to look closely at all of what I see, feel, and hear around me, I realize that I am all that and it scares me and liberates me at the same time. Because if I can claim it, all of it as my own, (even the not-so-pretty stuff) I can learn to accept it, love it, honor it, and instantly, I am connected.

So these are spiritual goals that take a lifetime, probably more. They are part of my purpose and I get to practice them every day and every time I see something that throws me off. And when I do I can ask myself the questions: When have I made a similar choice? When have I acted that way? What am I afraid of? What do I wish for myself? The answers contain the truth to a certain level of healing and forgiveness that’s rare in the world, and I’m down for that.

We intentionally call forth our ability to love unconditionally when we face the hard-to-love in the world. When I love others, I am loving myself. When I reject others, I am rejecting the same in me. We carry every element of being human in our DNA. We call it Spirit. We call it Soul and it is calling us to a new way of being. #weareone

Thanks for reading and sharing with friends.




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