You Can Make Your Own Life Easier
“I wish life were harder,” said no one ever.
Yet…we often hear people declaring that “life is hard.”
But is it? Really?
Look…life, in and of itself, isn’t difficult. Ask any cat, dog or butterfly. However, what humans expect from life can definitely alter our experience of it. Much of our dissatisfaction and difficulty in everyday living comes from our expectations of ourselves (and others) to do, be and have more than we already do.
We expect to have more money (someday)
We expect to be in love with the man/woman of our dreams (someday)
We expect to be fulfilled by our job/work/career (someday)
We expect to live in a nicer, more suitable place (someday)
We expect to have nicer clothes, a nicer car, nicer things (someday)
Every time we think something is lacking in our present moment, that thought takes us out of it. Our focus on what we expect to have someday keeps us from being present with what is in our life right now. Spending our thoughts and energy on what we expect to happen someday creates tension (aka stress) with what’s happening right now, with what is. It’s an internal conflict that makes life seem hard.
These expectations we have of ourselves to do more, be more and have more aren’t necessarily real needs. Often they arise from a broader social expectation, a model way of life that we feel a strong need to belong to. So we constantly adjust our wants/needs to follow society’s norm. We build a certain lifestyle filled with the things and actions that will help us feel acceptance.
We don’t like to admit it, but we’re still trying to keep up with the Jones’s. It’s just that now the Jones’s live everywhere, not just next door. We’ve bought into the idea that we have to prove our value to society. And once we do, we believe we will feel happy, loved, accepted. Again…someday.
But life can be easier, right now and happiness, love, and acceptance can happen right now when we do the unthinkable…lower our expectations.
In order to make life easier, we need to let go of our ideas about what we expect to happen and focus on what we currently have and who we are now – without judging that it’s not enough. In this way, we can fully live (ie. appreciate and celebrate) what is happening right now.
I’m not saying that it’s time to become a couch potato!
I’m suggesting that you get out of the approval game and pay attention instead to your inner drive and desire calling to you. Let go of what you think you should be doing or being and listen to what your heart wants from you. Then begin following in that direction. Be brave. Making this change won’t be the easiest thing you’ve ever done. But if you can make the transition from expecting your life to look a certain way, and others to be and do certain things for you based on society’s right/wrong rules to… following your heart’s desire and allowing others to do the same, life will be easier.
How does it work?
“Enough-ness” Brings You into the Present Moment
We cannot “care” into the future. And what we have and who we are surrounded with right now need care. They need our care. We need our own care. Love and acceptance can only happen in the present moment. If we keep our heart focused on caring for what is, life will feel more manageable and easy. Accepting our present conditions doesn’t mean we don’t sometimes make plans for the future, but we don’t have to do it out of a sense of incompleteness. Instead, we can plan with the knowledge that who we are and what we have is already enough…the rest is Gravy.
You are Quality over Quantity
Ease comes when we learn to appreciate our present circumstances fully, not just until something better comes along. What you have now, who you are now are all a result of sustained effort and energy on your part. Celebrate your success and honor what you’ve created already. Give yourself some credit. Doing so builds confidence and joy in whatever you’ll do next. You and all you’ve already become are Quality right now. You don’t need to add more to yourself to be acceptable and loved.
Change your Declaration
Life is hard if you say it is. Life is easy if you say that instead. Your experience is driven by your perspective which is formed by your beliefs. As you say…so it is. If your word is law in your life, be conscious about what you say. Stop saying life is hard or agreeing with others who say so. Adopt instead a “life is easy” mindset and begin looking for and gathering evidence to support that.
Take Back Control of Your Life
Everybody spends their allotted time on the merry-go-round of expectations. How long you stay there spinning your wheels depends on your ability to become self-aware and to determine what’s important enough for you to spend your energy on. Once you do step off, you’ll feel the immediate freedom of mental stillness and the bliss of endless possibility. You’ll be at choice about tomorrow rather than feeling dragged into the future by what you must attain or acquire. Invest your energy into what supports positive growth for you and yours. Ask yourself often:
What will feed my spirit?
What will give me peace of mind?
What needs care right now?
The saying that “nothing worth having is easy” is a big misconception. There’s nothing at all wrong with life being easy. Feeling at ease simply means that you’re living in alignment, body, mind, and soul together. Ease means you’re living holistically and powerfully toward a life mission that is soul driven. It doesn’t mean you won’t work diligently with focus sometimes, it simply means that everything you do, and all you are, is done on purpose.
Is there any one thing you could let go of today that would make your life easier?