2 Qualities That Make You Happier
We all know by now that happiness isn’t out there in the world where we can find it. It isn’t reserved for the lucky, the rich, the famous. We know we have to generate it from within. But how, when life can be so challenging? When we are faced with work, responsibility, and a growing social structure that’s almost impossible to keep up with? How do we create happiness when no one ever showed us how?
I want you to know, it’s not as complicated as you think. Happiness is something we can definitely learn to cultivate over time. There are two qualities you can develop now that will make you a happier person, in general – Trust and Curiosity.
Building trust and curiosity helps us let go of control and expectation, two of the leading causes of stress and anxiety in our lives. With trust and curiosity we can overcome fears and embrace life with boldness and excitement. Although we think that trust and curiosity only apply to the specific people and places we encounter, their reach goes even further.
Here’s how we can cultivate Trust and Curiosity in new ways that will make us happier people in the long run.
Build Trust in Self –
First you must develop trust in yourself. Trust who you are at the soul level, enough to allow your authentic nature to be expressed in the world. So often we don’t trust ourselves. Instead, we’re constantly putting on false masks and trying to get the world to like them when they’re not even real. When you’ve learned to trust and appreciate yourself (the real you), you’ll feel more self-reliant, more acceptable and loved. When you trust yourself to take care of yourself and put your well-being first, you’ll find it easier to trust others and life in general because you aren’t grasping for what you need from them. You can cultivate self-care on your own.
Build Trust in Life –
Trust that the Universe is on your side. When we trust the Universe to help take care of us, then we can learn to let our defenses down. This eliminates a lot of feelings of stress and anxiety. When we walk through life knowing we’re supposed to be here and that the Universe has room and space and resource to meet our desires, we simply feel more relaxed and hopeful. We know we belong and have a purpose here. Those are all good feelings that lead to a greater sense of contentment. In trusting life, we can learn to let go of control and embrace the way things are, knowing there’s a greater plan that involves us living out our best self.
Build Trust in Others –
If we added up all of the experiences we’ve had with people, you’d probably find that the majority of the time others can be trusted…a lot. Yet we often focus all our thoughts and feelings about trust on the times when people have let us down; even though these experiences represent only a small fraction of what we usually get from people. When we say we don’t trust people, in reality, we mostly don’t trust our self to make good choices around people. We usually expect others to “make us happy,” and that’s not their job. When we don’t use other people to fill voids for us, affirm or validate our existence, then we can allow them to make more mistakes and still love and trust them anyway.
Become Curious about Your Self –
Curiosity and a deep desire to know one’s self leads to the kind of freedom that is priceless. When we intend to learn about all aspects of our being including the vulnerable parts that we don’t like to show others, and the amazing parts we sometimes downplay, we develop the ability to accept, forgive and love all of ourselves. This can only come when we get off the idea that we already know who we are at the core. Most of us don’t. Most of us are in denial about our fears, and our greatest gifts. We truly don’t know who we are. We only know who we have been in the past. When we get curious about our inner life, our beliefs, thoughts and feelings, as well as our latent potential, then we can invite a greater version of ourselves into the world.
Become Curious about Life –
Allow the Universe to surprise you regularly. Be curious about the way the whole Universe works. Be curious enough to stop labeling things as good or bad and instead desire to discover the instances where these concepts completely overlap or contradict each other. Curiosity opens our minds and hearts to see beautiful things that were before hidden from our view. The opposite of curiosity is controlling. When we’re not curious we try to make the world fit our ideas about it. We do the same with ourselves and others. We don’t allow for the possibility that we might not know. We don’t allow surprises because we simply don’t have the level of trust to know that a surprises might be exactly what we’ve been craving all our life. Take five minutes today to exercise some curiosity about life.
Become Curious about Others –
Develop curiosity about others. Asking questions to learn about the more intimate aspects of peoples lives will reveal to you a connectedness you would never experience while walking in your own preconceived notions about the way things are. When we explore more deeply the individual human condition, we start to see patterns. The reasoning behind people’s behavior begins to make more sense. We discover that we’re not that different after all. When we offer people curiosity, we allow them to reveal their authentic being to us.
When you develop both trust and curiosity equally, you become an advocate for REAL life, the life that happens beyond control and expectation. When you look at children, they are full of trust and curiosity. They’re not focused on what’s gone wrong. They’re less weighed down by grievances and frustration. They easily let things go. This enables them to walk with a certain lightness on the planet to where joy is more accessible. Animals also live this way, full of trust and curiosity, two qualities that allow them to forgive their humans and find playful joy in simple moments.
Learning about the Self takes courage and asking the right questions to get at the deeper parts of our being. How do you make time for discovery in your life? What strategies do you use to trust more and remain open to life’s surprising gifts?