Overcome Lack and Experience Your Abundance
Every year, in the week before Christmas, I host a holiday cocktail party. I pick the date early and send out the invites in November. In other words, I get committed long before the season ever arrives. I’ve been doing this for ten years now and each festive gathering seems better than the last. Picture twinkle lights everywhere, candles aglow, christmas jazz station playing in the background, a feast of hors-d’oeuvres, christmas cookies, fancy cheeses, all kinds of drink and 50 people sharing stories with each other. This is my favorite celebration of the year!
Yet, I have had a few years when, as the date for the party drew closer, I wasn’t sure I could pull it off. Perhaps a less than stellar financial situation, feeling bad about my old frumpy furniture, or just not having enough time have all been reasons for my wanting to back out. But despite my occasional feelings of lack, I have always found a way to make this party work. And the years when it was tough have taught me more about gratitude and abundance than all the years when it was easy.
The nature of the holiday season can often cause us to feel inadequate. We see others spending time with partners at special holiday outings. We might feel lonely if we don’t have someone. We might feel pressure to spend money we don’t really have. We may struggle to host family or friends when our home doesn’t ever look like the Better Homes and Gardens image of festive fun. During the holidays the opportunities to compare what we have or don’t have with others seem to increase ten-fold. When our external circumstances don’t appear to add up, how can we experience the abundance that is our birthright? How can we rise to the occasion when we feel we have nothing to give?
If you’re feeling inadequate, I know it can be yucky!! Feeling lack makes us want to withdraw, retreat, and stay away from the scene of pain and embarrassment. The simple idea “I don’t have enough,” hurts because it is the outcome of a deeper belief, “I am not enough.” When we experience lack, it makes us feel small, which naturally leads to increased feelings of insufficiency. It is a retracted cycle that is tough to break, if we simply run and hide. So let’s not.
Instead, if we want to experience the abundance that is already ours, we have to stop and challenge the thinking that compares. We challenge that thinking by doing what we least want to do – giving what we have away. When we give what we have, no matter how insignificant it seems, we set in motion a new reality based on a new thought…I have something to give.
Example: I have a pair of loving arms to hug someone who seems lonely or in pain.
Leads to…I have love to give…and finally, I have LOVE.
Not having a partner to spend time with doesn’t mean we don’t have love. It just means we don’t have one person to give our love to. We have to go find others who need love too… We create abundance when we share the love we are; by reaching out first, not waiting for love to find us. Giving what you have allows you to experience the abundance that is yours.
So every year I host my holiday party in a tiny house with old worn out furniture and one small bathroom. It pales in comparison to the homes of other parties I attend. But I throw on the decorations and lots of lights to create a scene of celebration. I usually have a small budget for food, so I cook everything on my own and I buy a few bottles of wine. My friends and family always end up filling in the gaps, bringing more than the food table can even hold. Abundance arrives like a bowl of stone soup and we all get to enjoy it.
I have learned over the years that what I have is good enough. It is what has been given to me to share. If I pull back, thinking it’s not enough then I will have to live in that retracted state. If I share what I have, then it expands and I get to experience an abundant expansive state. You see, we create the experience we have, in any given moment, abundance or lack by holding out based on fear, or giving out of love. The choice is yours…