want, give, appreciation, gratitude, love

Give to Life What You Want

When we go to a store or a restaurant, we expect the staff there to be nice to us.

When we choose a husband or wife, we expect them to love us.

And at the end of the week, we expect our boss to cut us a check. God, I hope so…

But there are times when we don’t get what we want, when our expectations are shattered and our faith in life falters. In these moments we’re primed to learn one of the most powerful lessons that life has to offer us…that we have to give to life what we want.

Not doing so is like showing up at a potluck dinner empty-handed. You look around at the empty food table and ask, “where’s all the food?”

“Oh,” replies the host, “we thought you were going to bring it.”

want, give, appreciation, gratitude, loveWell, life is the same way. Instead of waiting for life to give you what you want, you have to give to life the experience you want to have. Not just once or twice, or now and then, but all the time. We experience love, joy, happiness, and freedom when we bring it out of the depths of our being and into the world.

Now, I’m not talking about “give to get.” Contrary to popular opinion, life does not operate in a cycle of give and take. Life is fueled by the contributions we make. You hold the power to create the experience you want in life by being it. If you want a hug, reach out for someone and give a hug…

When you step out into the world, it’s up to you to

Bring the joy,

Bring the love,

Bring the fun, and the happy, and the freedom.

If we want more joy in life, we need to bring it to all of our experiences with gratitude and appreciation. We must choose to see it and take part in it. Smile more, laugh more, lighten up, and help others feel better. Joy thanks the world for the little things.

If we want more love, we have to generate it and share it with others. We have to look for opportunities to love others, even when it isn’t easy, and especially with those we find hard to love. We have to love ourselves as if our lives depended on it.

If we want to be happy, we have to choose happy over grumpy more often than not. We have to choose the people, places and things that make happiness easy for us. Don’t blame your lack of happiness on anyone or anything. It’s your choice.

What we want, we’ve been endowed with the power to create. Other people weren’t put on this planet to give us what we want, so we must stop expecting them to. The greater our expectations, the less we’ll do to meet our own needs or the needs of others.

Our unmet expectations about people and circumstances make us feel dis-empowered.

When things don’t go as we plan, our thoughts and feelings about the outcome can turn into anger, resentment and fear. And those feelings lead us to feel powerless over our circumstances. Now is the moment when we must face the bitter truth; people and circumstances have the power to let us down, because we gave that power to them in the first place.

Now I understand that it feels completely normal to have expectations. But the trouble is that the chances of anyone or anything meeting our expectations is less than 50%. And those odds aren’t very favorable. When we put the responsibility for our happiness in someone else’s hands, they are often unaware that we’ve done so, and are just as likely to drop it.

Others aren’t responsible for your happiness…If someone wanted to put the responsibility for their happiness in your hands, would you take it willingly, knowing how unpredictable that can be?

You wouldn’t, and neither should you expect anyone else to.

But don’t be discouraged by that idea, become empowered with the truth.

What you want, you’ve been endowed with the power to create.

The great surprise of bringing your best to any situation is that other people will rise to the occasion and bring their best in return. It is natural human nature to do so. So take this thought into your day and show up to the potluck of life with whatever you want most. If nothing else, you’ll be satisfied dining on the things you like best in the world. At most, your wildest dreams will be fulfilled. Bon Appetit!

Thanks everyone again for making the world a better place with your presence. If you have a second, in the comments below, share with us the number one thing you want to bring more of into your life and how you might incorporate that into your day-to-day life.

In Life and Love, Tracy


  1. Sharon

    Oh so true Tracy. Kindness begets kindness. Especially during this season of rush and craziness. I try to remind myself daily to to an act of kindness. Thank you my friend for sharing your awesome words of wisdom.

  2. Tracy

    You are welcome Sharon and already you are one of the kindest people I know.

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