Why I Won’t Order a Man Online

Okay, I’ve given it some serious consideration… and the reality is, all my single girlfriends are doing it (except 1). “Made-to-order-man hunting” I call it – listing their criteria and qualifications online hoping to find MrRight™ ! With only a mouse click or two, people are hooking up everywhere. Two “Matched” couples I know got married just this month.

But despite all the evidence for its success, I just can’t bring myself to put myself “on-the-line” and I wish people would stop suggesting it (although I know they mean well).

The usual friendly conversation goes something like this…

Caring Friend: Are you seeing anyone special right now?

Me: No, but, you know,.. I’m still looking.

Caring friend: Have you tried online dating?

Me: (speechless, then) No, I’d rather not look online for something like that.

Caring Friend: You know, if you don’t, you’re overlooking a lot of options. Who knows, the man of your dreams might be looking for a profile just like yours…

I kid you not, online dating seems to be the first (and only) option that escapes everyone’s lips! Online dating is like wearing yoga pants – everyone just assumes they’re “right” for every body!

Well, let me tell you, they’re not!

The message I get is, …If you’re not browsing for a man online, you’re not that interested in finding one – you’re not really trying…Really!?!

Contrary to popular belief, I’m not being stubborn; I have my reasons, like:

I want a “how we met” story that doesn’t include picking him out of a photo lineup. There’s nothing sexy about that. I want the thrill of a chance encounter involving mystery, intrigue and the beautiful serendipity of bumping into a stranger who I’ll one day love intensely – I want a story worth telling.

I want to feel the zing and exhilaration of mutual attraction. There are so few moments in life like it, I want to devour it with my senses. I want the sight, the sounds, the smells of a place in time and him in that moment to trickle down on me, slowly, like rain dripping through the tree leaves.

I want to experience the exploration and uncovering of his life’s details. I want to learn about him in layers, not all at once in a well-planned profile. I want the truth about him – a deep understanding of a soul that only experience and one-on-one interaction can provide. I want to take that slow, like a midsummer sunset unfolding before our eyes.

I want to know that he too cares enough to keep it real. I want to know that he’s out there in the world living in earnest with his eyes and heart wide open, waiting and watching for me, like I am for him. I don’t want a man who’s sitting at home on his computer trying to figure out exactly how to attract the woman of his dreams with a handful of well-chosen words.

I’m not old-fashioned really. I’m just a bit of a romantic who wants more and I’m willing to wait for it. So that’s it; stop asking me. I’ve made up my mind once and for all! He won’t find me on Match, or eHarmony or any other online site. It’s going to take an adventurous spirit full of hope and an unshakeable belief that the Universe works in our favor if we allow it. The sheer fact that we’re both now looking means we can’t help but find each other.

The truth is, I know I’ll recognize him in the flesh when I see him (can’t say that about a photo). And in an instant, with no prior planning, preparation, or professional profile, our lives will turn on a dime and everything will change. I imagine it will be so unexpected that we’ll talk about for years to come, like witnessing a shooting comet or a rare pink sea snail – not something we’ll soon forget – not in this lifetime.

Tell me,…how did YOU meet the Love of Your Life?



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