support system, goals, challenges

Why Support is More Important than Chocolate

Yeah, that’s right; support is more important than chocolate!!

Okay, both are pretty important. When I’m not feeling supported, chocolate definitely helps me feel better! But the support of loving friends or family members wins over chocolate every time!

We’re used to going out to support our kids in EVERYTHING! My favorite was Cross Country. You stand there watching a mob of kids, barely able to see your own kid until the gun fires and they take off running. In a matter of minutes, they’ve all disappeared. So you stand around for another half hour until the leader of the pack rounds the bend. Then you cheer for a minute or two until your son or daughter crosses the finish line.  And that’s it. It’s not exciting, but we want them to know we’ve got their backs. As adults, we also face a lot of firsts in life. Wouldn’t it be great to have someone in our corner to cheer us on and make us feel confident and strong?

We rarely think about supporting the adults in our lives with challenges they face.

Most of us, busy with our own lives, assume that other adults don’t really need the kind of support our children need. But they do. I recently had a friend tell me she was going to teach her first scheduled yoga class. I asked if I should come, and would it feel like support. She said it would. When the class was over, she revealed that she faced some really big fears in there. I wasn’t aware of that, so I felt really glad I went. Check out this short video where I interview her about her experience.

We hear a lot these days about giving of our time to important causes. I got to thinking, what better cause than the people in our lives who, even though they’re all grown up, could still use our time and attention. And here’s why.

Being a supportive presence in your adult friend’s lives:

Promotes Their Self-Confidence

I remember giving my first live speech. Knowing I would need support, I rallied about 20 people to come and watch. The feeling of being surrounded by love made it  easy to go up there and present my speech in front of 300 people. I knew, no matter what, there were people in the audience who appreciated me regardless of how things went.

Amplifies Mutual Empathy and Unity

When we ask for support or we show up to support our friends and family, we are increasing a much needed idea that we are all in this life together. We know what it feels like to tackle fears and face our demons, we’ve all done it. Sharing life’s struggles and stories in public allows us to increase our empathetic skills and recognize how alike we really are.

Holds the Greater Truth

When we push ourselves to do things we aren’t good at yet, our internal dialogue can be very critical. It helps to have people around who can balance that negative self talk with some positive vibes. It’s especially important after a performance, competition or other big moment. That’s when we’re inclined to obsess about all the ways it didn’t go well. We need others to hold the truth about who we are. When we do this for others, we’re also reminding ourselves.

Helps Sustain Long-Term Change

Support tells those we love that we’re on their side, and ready to encourage their commitments. Change can take time. Slow and steady usually wins the race. When we have others in our corner, we can stay on track and sustain our efforts much longer than when we’re going it alone.

Inspires Your Own Journey

When we take the time to support others who are going after what they want, it inspires us to do more of the same in our own lives. It’s tough to be around someone facing their fears and going after what they want without catching a little of the bug.

Increases Mutual Gratitude and Abundance 

So next time you hear of someone taking on a new or difficult challenge in their life, ask if you can support them. They’ll appreciate your for it. You might even be surprised by what others can do when they feel buoyed by your love. You may be still more amazed at how it feels to be someone who can help even if it means attending a yoga class or standing  in a crowd waiting for a lone runner to cross the finish line. Your smiling face can make a huge difference.

People won’t always ask you for help or support. In fact, they almost never do. They believe falsely that they shouldn’t ask or that everyone else is too busy. You may need to pay attention to what’s up in the lives of those you care about and simply offer to show up. Believe me, there’s not too many things that you can do where you win over chocolate, but this is one..

Thanks everyone for reading!! If you’re up to something big, please don’t be afraid to ask for help and support from your friends. They want to and it’s good for both of you in so many ways.

I’d love to hear about what you’re up to…I’d love to support you if I can.

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