Why Self-Development Really Scares the S_ _t Out of Us!
I have to admit, I’m very attracted to them! Motivational speakers possess a certain hotness that’s irresistible. Whether it’s live or online, hearing them speak about our personal development makes me want what they’re selling! I’m thinking, Yeah! and That makes so much sense! and Darn, what am I waiting for…!
They’ve been there and done it! And they’re convinced that I can too! I’m sold! I can, and will have a better life – more passion, more time, more love, more money! I’m deep into believing that I do have everything it takes to succeed at fulfilling my dreams…I’m on fire and inspired by their unwavering passion, stellar strategies and words of wisdom.
I’ll be high on cloud nine for a few weeks,…staying on track with my goals, then suddenly a different, but all too familiar feeling creeps into my awareness along with setbacks and second thoughts. I begin to wonder, why am I pushing myself so hard! What’s so wrong with who I am already? What’s so bad about my life that it needs to be fixed? Why can’t I just be me, exactly as I am? Why do the goals I set for myself make me feel so crappy about ME? I’ve bottomed out again…I want to curl up and hide.
What begins as inspiration to be our best selves can just as easily turn into confirmation that we’re not. There’s a fine line between developing the self, and punishing the self for perceived inadequacies. It’s so easy to get the two confused. If we are perfect, as is, then why do we need to grow, develop, and become better?
It seems like a catch-22 because feeling inadequate is an epidemic in our culture. I never knew there were so many people who felt that no matter what they do, they will not measure up. Many of us even believe that the reason we haven’t yet found the kind of success we desire is directly connected to our essential worth! We feel this so strongly, we can’t even see the success we have created. We’re blinded by the belief that we’re just not enough and that idea is preventing us from trying to attain the things we really want in life!
I know. I struggled on this tight rope of thinking for a long time. I even put myself on a “self development diet” for a while and steered clear of reading or listening to inspirational speakers, but I continually found myself coming back to them – a sucker for punishment. But one day I realized there was something I needed that I wasn’t getting anywhere else…and I finally identified it…I needed encouragement to be the person I knew I really was behind all that self doubt and fear.
So I seek out their inspiring motivational words because even though I sometimes feel intimidated by their hyper positivity, they help me believe that I can love and accept myself and still dream big about what’s to come.
If we think of ourselves like a well-kept house, this concept might make sense. Even one with a solid and sufficient structure gets cleaned, repainted, redecorated, remodeled and added onto over the course of it’s lifetime whether it needs it or not. There’s nothing wrong with it, and it would certainly be okay to keep things the same over time, but change makes it more interesting and exciting. Without change, we’d be bored stiff with our surroundings. We suffer from that same kind of boredom when we cease to grow or change in our own lives.
That’s why so many of us are drawn to personal development, and for that same reason, it challenges and scares us. We want to grow and experience new things, but when we push ourselves beyond our comfort zones, we tend to panic. The fear of failing or being rejected could confirm our beliefs that we weren’t good enough to begin with. Our fears make us want to give up and go back to thinking we don’t need to…And we use the reasoning, “I’m already perfect, just the way I am,” not believing it for one second!
But the truth is, we are perfect already. Self development helps us learn about our greatness through trial and error experience. As we move through our lives, we add experiences that slowly shape the clay of who we are. We aren’t missing anything, ever. A full range of being has always been there within us waiting to be revealed or uncovered. Once we understand this crucial point, then we can feel free to shape shift and discover what it feels like to be different, to grow without the limitations of inadequacy.
We’ve been given a great gift, an intense desire to know our divine selves, the likeness of God within us. That’s why we crave adventure and other exciting and interesting experiences, to discover and reveal the facets of ourselves that we can’t yet see or even imagine. It’s kind of like we are unwrapping God’s present over the years. With every layer of tissue paper, another shiny trinket awaits us, a discovery of self that keeps us interested and on our toes, engaged with our own great life.
Our greatness isn’t something we have to prove; it’s who we become while living on purpose, one day at a time, on the front lines of our lives.
So, enjoy the unwrapping! Thank you all for reading!