Are You an Approval Junkie??
Do you ever struggle making major life decisions?
I do, lots of times!! I was recently up against the wall trying to make a huge decision – one that would change the course of my life forever. Without going into all the details, it felt huge and I wanted nothing more than to talk to all of my friends and find out what they thought about it. But each time I got close to breaching the subject with someone, I felt an incredible block, as if a heavy hand gripped my shoulder preventing me from spilling my guts. It was weird, to say the least, but now I’m thankful.
Because finally, I recognized what it was – the need for approval! My approval seeking had transformed into the need for permission, something I was waiting on before making my move. That’s when I understood the hand of restraint holding me back. My self-control was new evidence that I’d come a long way from the young girl who once acted wholly dependant on others for making important life decisions.
In the past, I couldn’t do anything important without a positive nod from a person that mattered. But not this time. I knew I was on my own and I’d be okay. I knew then that no matter what I decided, I no longer needed permission to follow my inner leanings. Not in an “I don’t give a f…” kind of way, but in a way that affirmed my right to act or decide in a way that serves my growth and vision.
These are some hallmarks of approval seeking junk:
Sidestep our Purpose
When we crave approval, we disregard our divine purpose, waiting for the kind of permission no one else is able to give us. They can’t know what we’ve been called to do, nor can they understand our why. Nine times out of ten, other people will play the Devil’s advocate, talking us out of what we really want to do. That’s just the way people who care about us operate… and we let them.
Silence Our Inner Knowing
When we shape our actions on what other people “tell” us to do, or “think” we’d be good at, we inadvertently silence our inner drive in exchange for feeling comfortable or acceptable. As a result, we live in perpetual fear, doubt and confusion about what we came here for. Our purpose doesn’t receive the time and space it needs to unfold. We chase self-satisfaction based on other’s expectations and fears, all the while feeling inadequate and unhappy.
Waiting for Permission
When approval seeking has been your modus operandi for some time, waiting for permission may be an unconscious habit you’ll need to break. If you find yourself wanting to talk about your decisions before making them, you’re asking permission to live your life – permission that was granted you the day you were born, so stop it. Only you and your higher power know what’s next for you.
Now for Something New
Always making your own decisions will probably be scary – it will probably be outside of your comfort zone – that’s why we seek advice/approval. We’re just unfamiliar and uncertain about how it will all turn out. We’re afraid to be wrong or make mistakes. But that’s the beauty of your divine potential…it can’t be realized until you step into the unknown and let it become you.